Fear Of Missing Out

Imagine that your friends are planning to get together this weekend, but you have to be out of town at that time. Would you be curious about what your friends are doing in your absence, how they are spending their time, and in what ways they are having fun? Especially in recent years, as we frequently use social media, these thoughts have started to circulate in our minds more often. Seeing what activities our acquaintances are engaging in while we are absent or discovering that unknown individuals are in attractive places can trigger a fear of missing out (FOMO). FOMO refers to the feelings we experience when we believe others are sharing significant and enjoyable experiences while we think we are missing out on them. When we see on social media that our friends are having a good time without us, we tend to believe that whatever we are doing at that moment is not as good as their experience.

FOMO can be experienced by people of all age groups, but it is observed more frequently in individuals in adolescence or early adulthood. This is because people in this stage tend to spend more time on social media. Moreover, not only does social media usage increase the likelihood of experiencing FOMO, but experiencing FOMO can also lead to increased social media usage. Especially for those who experience FOMO more frequently and feel lonely, spending more time on social media becomes a tendency. The time spent on social media due to the influence of FOMO can increase our stress levels. We may feel more lonely, and our self-esteem and self-compassion may be negatively affected because we compare what we see on social media with ourselves and our own lives.

When we experience FOMO, the current moment, place, and situation we are in seem unattractive. We believe that others are having a more enjoyable time. We often make these comparisons with our close friends, family members, or colleagues. In other words, we compare our lives with the lives of those who have similar lives to ours.

Now, if we pause for a moment and consider different lives that we could compare to ours, we can find millions of lives that we could evaluate as better than ours – those who earn more, have better jobs or schools, or lead more fun lives. On the other hand, we can also find millions of people who have lives that we could evaluate as worse than ours. If we frame these comparisons not with the goal of achieving what we value but with the fear of missing out, we cannot be satisfied with our lives. Instead of focusing on what we can gain, we often focus on what we might lose. This situation increases the likelihood of experiencing FOMO. As we examine the lives and choices of others, we feel more disconnected from our own lives. To break this cycle, it is important to remember that we cannot always access what we desire whenever we want. Additionally, making choices based on what is valuable to us, rather than the fear of missing out (FOMO), can be beneficial.

So, who experiences the FOMO feeling more? We all have different psychological needs. Some of these needs are defined as seeing ourselves as an effective contributor to the world, believing that we have the authority to make decisions about certain aspects of our lives, or being in interaction and closeness with other individuals. Research indicates that individuals who experience dissatisfaction in meeting these psychological needs are more inclined to use social media. The reason for this is that these individuals perceive social media as a means of connecting with others. Another factor that drives us to experience FOMO as a result of using social media is our desire to escape negative feelings, such as times when we are not satisfied with our current relationship or when we feel lonely.